Off to Melbourne

Fed up with the dullness of the Hume Highway I decided to take a more scenic route home for Christmas. The journey started with a quick ride to the Wombeyan Caves camping area. Our convoy of bikes swept through Captain’s Flat, pausing briefly to pick up some beer for the evening (the hotel is on sale for half a million, I propose we form a syndicate and purchase the property).

The boys at the pub

Next we followed 20 kilometers of dirt where I found my high performance vehicle no longer performed highly. Pinko’s GS 500 and Ash’s fifteen year old 250 constantly left me behind as I learnt the intricacies of off road riding. At the camp site Pinko ran through the basics of hootchie erection.

Learning the skills of a bushtucker man

The next day we meandered on to Bateman’s Bay. I broke my previous land speed record (which is amazing as I never speed). The long sweeping bends of the Clyde brought about endless enjoyment for myself and Pinko (this was a good thing because we had to repeat the route a few times). As expected my GSXR and Pinko’s GS arrived somewhat earlier than Ash’s Honda CB 250. What was unexpected was when Ash arrived in the front seat of a beat old car.

A chauffered drive to the car hire company

The engineer then explained the complications involved in running an engine without oil (engine go BOOM). Our morning consisted determining the most efficient method of transporting a deceased motorbike to Canberra.

What a sad sight!

By 1pm we finally got to the beach, which was just in time for me to say my farewells and continue on my way.

I traveled on the Princes Highway to Bega, before turning off onto the Snowy Mountains Highway. This road is fabulously maintained and was even more fun then the Clyde. I once got the opportunity to practice my cornering ability at speed, and so I indulged. A few hours later I arrived at a Thredbo camping ground. I put my knew found skills in shelter creation to the test and had a hootchie set up in 30mins. Then I trialed my fire making abilities so I could get some dinner heated up. Some scotch and dessert later I fell into bed, praying my hootchie would survive the night.

My fire, dessert and apertiff, and before and after shots of my camp area

My Jacket the next morning

The next morning I found a lovely trail from Thredbo to the summit of Kosciosko and conquered that sucker in 2hrs 5 minutes (11kms and 700m climb).

A good question; I followed all these walks and the summitt trail

A glacial lake, the start of the snowy river and a view from top

Just resting at the top of Australia

I returned via a different route to complete a 27 km trek found my bike, with all my bags, helmet, and bike gear right where I left them. The next stage of this epic adventure had me winding my way through Alpine Way. No lane markings, narrow road, high rock walls made for an exciting ride, especially as I burnt around one blind corner at 60km/hr to see two cars coming towards me occupying both side of the road.

Me after I nearly died

Somehow I survived that mess and was able to enjoy the sites the Snowy Mountains have to offer.

A lookout on Alpine Way. Kosciusko is hidden behind the mountains

The Snowy Mountain Scheme

The rest of the ride home was uneventful. I stopped for lunch at Khancoban at a quant servo/restaurant that services many motorcycle tour groups.

A poster at the servo in Khancoban

Had a beer at Koetong to watch the cricket, and as I passed Tallangatta I pondered: 1. why they moved the town 8 kms west and 2. how one goes about moving a whole town - Simpsons episode anyone? (the town sign proudly states it was the town that moved). It turns out they needed to expand the Hume Dam.

I arrived home soon after, now clearly understanding my complete and utter antipathy for highway driving.

Can't wait to do this again!

Part 5: Hanoi the Second

By this stage I was becoming tired. However there were still many things to do. The torrential rain was interesting as it turned itself off and on like a tap, and hevean forbid if you were caught unprepared. Streets would become kneehigh rivers, flowing with all the muck picked up off the road. Restaurants would bulge with customers as locals and tourists alike would hide from downpour - staff would stand out the front like bouncers stopping more people from entering. I would walk around with a big grin on my face, no doubt confusing all the locals.

My first order of business was to do something touristy. I meandered to a local restaurant - the old Hanoi - and took a cooking lesson. For about $30 a local chef led me on a guided tour of the food markets with two lovely Canadians.

The waitress, the chef, the chef's son and myself. Can you believe the Chef is over forty and her son is fourteen!

Then we sat down to cook four dishes - Rice, prawns, fish, and spring rolls. It was great fun and we got to eat all we cooked (including a dessert). We had a mini cooking competition, which I lost. We were joined by the chef's 14 year old son, and we spent some time playing games.

I enjoy playing games that involve cleaver's

My next mission was to attend another wedding party the following night. I found the restaurant joined a table with fellow english speakers, feasted on the insane amount of food, and preceded to have the time of my life. Before long I was once again involved in drinking games, drowing myself in rice wine with Anna's other brother. Some of the party goers wanted to move on to Karaoke, but I had another idea. You see, I had overheard a little nugget of information for an opportunity that culd not be missed. With a few of the fellas we jumped into a cab and proceeded to the America Club. A measly $2.00 entry fee got us inside, a few more $$ got us some beer and then a whole bunch of us Australians kicked back to enjoy the rock n roll of Regurgitator, live in Vietnam. Whilst dancing I heard someone yell out my name. I turn around to see Sophie, the extremly hot English lady from Halong Bay (She's in Australia now, wish I had her email). Small world huh!

I have no photos of the concert, here is one of me cooking corn, peas and capsicum

The night only got better, if that possible. After the concert we decided to join the Karoake group and soon we were leaping out of cab on a dark street. The can sped off leaving us staring bewildered at the metal shutters on all the storefronts. It was 11:00pm and everything was closed. Where were our friends? Out of the shadows a local appears, asks what we're looking for, and then looking both directions to make sure no one was watching he lifts one of the shutters and lets us crawl under. Enter the Karoake.

Beer, singing, and good mates. Karaoke after hours

We found our friends on the top floor screaming their lungs out and here we stay for an hour before we're finally kicked out. Drunk but not finished we wanted more singing time. Someone knew of a place. A place near the trainstation. A place that was actually someone's home.

This entrepenaur hires out the top floor of his house for Karaoke after the other places were closed. You walk in, through his lounge room and kitchen, climb the stairs and enter a room decked out for a night of revelry.

This is the top floor of some dudes house. We were here for about 5 hours and it only cost us about $1.50 each.

Want a drink, well just wander downstairs, wake up the owner and he'll bring you your drinks, then go back to sleep. To top off this utterky amazing place, it is also known for having the best selection of Western songs in Hanoi. We sang long into the night and early into the morning. I returned home at 5:00am, just as the sun was rising, hoarse and somewhat blind.

My final days were spent firstly trying to spend my remaining dong, and then doing my best to ensure I could eat (I spent too much - budgeting is not my strong point). My last few meals consisted of street vendor chicken noodle soup and vegetarian fried rice. Before I knew I was on a plane cloud hopping back to Australia. It was end of an eventful trip, there were good times, there were great times, and there were fantastic times. I met many friends I would love to see again from all over the world. Hopefully I will find the time to return to Vietnam at some stage in my life.

Its good to be home

Part 4: Halong Bay

Upon arrival in Hanoi from Sapa I proceeded to wait around at the travel agent by myself for three hours as I waited for my next tour to start. I distinctly remember the kindness of the local next to me as he offered my a seat on which to relax, and my own suspicions that the second my buttocks rested on the hard plastic he would jump up shouting, "ten dolla, ten dolla!"

Soon I found myself seated on a mini bus with another Spanish couple, another Israeli couple, a couple fomr North Ireland, 4 somewhat aloof Irish girls (damn that is a comical accent) and one Frenchman, Aurelian. Aurelian is a special man. In the space of a weekend he managed to wipe away 12 years of racial antipathy.

I'm with a Frenchman! Who would have guessed?

Although quiet at first I soon found he was one of the most intelligent men I have ever met (very comfortable discussing Quantum Physcis with me in English - and he is a textile merchant hence no real science eductaion) who has a penchant for chillis that exceeds my own. Once again I was passed from one tour group to another over the three day tour but this time I was accompanied by my new friend from gay Paris (I mean that in the fun sense).

Halong Bay is a beautiful water inlet dotted with magnificant limestone isles, with huge caves filled by wacky rock formations.

A small taste of Halong Bay. Don't worry, due to my total lack of camera battery these are the only photos you'll see

World Heritage Listed, it is also currently ranked as # 2 in the 'New7wonders of nature" (http://www.new7wonders.com/classic/en/index/), so I can guarrantee no words I use can really describe what I saw. I will also note that luck was on my side in that the sun was shining. This apparently never happens in Halong Bay - don't be fooled by postcards.

Anyway the tour really stated when our group climbedthrough a mess of junks to our floating home for the night. The morning was filled with visiting caves and the afternoon was filled sunbathing/reading, eating awesome food and jumping from the roof of the junk into the apprently jellyfish infested waters.

This bay is littered with junk!

No one really wanted to jump, and as most people know I'm not a water person. However Australia had to represent so I donned my swimmers and jump I did. Everyone was really excited and pointed at me yelling. I smiled and waved whilst treading water. One of our Vietnmese hosts appeared a the side of the boat with a ladder, "hi, just swim over there for a second," he calmly says pointing away from the boat. I dutifully follow is instruction, luxuriating in the warm tropical waters. Soon the Irishman joins me in the water a massive grin on his face as he proceeds to explain how close the massive jellyfish was to me...until I moved. No one else joined us in the water. That night we drank cheap cocktails on the roof until midnight then everyone piked. The entire time our hosts amicably prepared our drinks when we woke them up. Funny work culture the Vietnamese have.

A gorgeous section of the cave system we toured. Photos thanks to Charlotte of Ireland.

The next day Aurelain and I changed tour groups and joined one that was much more exciting, their were Chilieans, Belgians, an American, and an Australian - Kylie. We became instant best friends. She lives in Sydney and does stuff. Okay so we weren't best friends. In this group we hiked up a huge mountain which, thanks to my recent training, was a piece of piss. I struggled a bit more climbing to the top of the lookout tower as I usually get a funny dizzy feeling on unstable, metal grated, and incredibly high platforms.

This is really, really high...

But the vista was nothing short of spectacular. On the way down from the mountain I came across the most incredibly hot English lady I've ever met (sorry midwives). Funnliy enough we randomly cross paths a few more times. this day was finished by visting monkey island, where there are monkeys (they are thieves beware). We swam, and played and threw our tourguide in the water.

...and the stairs and platform were none to steady. A part of the floor was completly removable.

The evening/night the followed was one of the best I ever had. First I left the hotel for a walk. I funny veitnamese rode past me on his bike and offered to cut my hair. I mentally offered to perform dental surgery with fist. However, he jumped off his bike at one of the many streetside barber chairs and than offered to shave me. This I agreed to after haggling over the price (about $3). he than pulls out a razor, which placed at my neck. I begin to wonder of I should have been paid a bit more...

This is what I though about as a razor scraped over my jugular

Then I watched some local volleyball whilst drinking beer so warm it needed ice - the lady serving me beer had to run to find me some from another vendor. This was followed by dinnerm turns out the English girl was eating with us, and then drinks. Lots of drinks. We sang karoake, danced and generally made fools out of ourselves. the night ended with Aurelain, Kylie and me talking philosophy and physics.

Before discussing indepth answers to life and the universe I recommend going for a little paddle in the sun. Just as we left our junk I heard my name yelled across the bay. Waving frantically on another junk were my two spanish friends form Sapa: Victor and Gloria.

The next day was a bus ride back to Hanoi. I jumped off the bus in early afternoon and started searching for accomodation with a clear price in mind. I found a nice place and started to haggle. Unfortunately just on cue it started to rain. I don't mean a pleasant drizzle falling from the sky, I'm talking about the heaven's opening up in a deluge as armegeddon strikes in liquid form. The owner smiled politely, I grin ruefully. "$14 a night sounds great."