Most Sports Require Only One Ball!

Yeeha, Inward Bound was back and better than ever. An event that involves multiple residents in teams of four being dropped at an undisclosed location in the Aussie Bush, with nothing but their wits, a compass and some maps to guide them home. Eight teams across seven divisions represented Fenner Hall this year, and they all have wild stories detailing their epic adventures.

The Fenner Hall squad stretching before we tackle Mt Ainslie

As head coach I prepared six weeks of intense trail running training to ensure my teams were ready to tackle the insane distances they would be covering. Four weeks of navigation training prepared my elite navigators for their challenge, and awesome detective/guesswork work on my behalf allowed me to pinpoint the exact location of the secret endpoint - Honeysuckle Creek Tracking Station (not released until all teams have been 'released' at their dropoff points.

Final words to my team

This year I had the pleasure of navigating Division 1. My team covered 90 kms in 20 hours to place a cool fourth. A fantastic effort considring that both my co-nav, Yan Zhao, and myself were unable to sleep for the three days prior to the event as we had to organise the teams. We both were hallucinating for hours as we literally feel asleep while walking. Our Journey started on the fringes of Michlong State Forest.

IB preparation at its greatest: I scoffed a 350gm steak, five potatoes and a bowl of salad. Lots of training leads to lots of food!

We ran south for thirty kms before crossing east past the Bluewater holes camping ground (fantastic scenery and beautiful caves) and through Learua Gap to cross the Brindabella's. Here we were able to see Brumbies and wild pigs. I was also lucky enough to halluncite national park signs, cars, and people/water stations. Yan saw many houses and tents - none of which were real. Other Div 1 teams ran 80 kms (with 1300m gain in height compared to our 600m gain - I maintain ours was the smarter route) with the first team finishing in 17.5 ours and the fifth team in 21 hours. B & G had to drop out as they were lost.

The Fenner Hall Team '09

Highlights of the Fenner sqaud included Div 5 finishing in 3 hours, the first team to arrive at Honeysuckle, Div 4 ending up at Tantangara, and Div 6 being 7 km from the finish after two hours and turing up at 23 hours later 20 kms from the endpoint.

An amazing event as usual, the follwing night all Halls and Colleges ended up at All Bar Nun for a debrief.

Fenner Hall runners regaling each other with stories.

I took some maps and whiteboard markers so we could discuss routes and tactics. I met old friends and friendly rivals

Div 1 Navs musing over each other's route selection.

Div 1 Navs from Ursies (5th place), Fenner (me - 4th place), and Johns (Alex - 3rd place)

- then we got drunk.

If this isn't intercollege cooperation I don't know what is - Cal (B&G IB coach), Brett (Fenner President), Pud (Johns Navigator), Elliot (Johns Div 1 runner), Some guy I don't recognise, and Yours Truly (Fenner Head Coach)

I wish I could enter all the stories here, or even do justice to this magnificent event, but no words can describe the experience that teams go through. Congratulations to all teams the entered, and a huge thanks to all Fenner representatives for doing me proud.

All I can say is, I can't wait for next year. We're gonna win!

Extra extra

As an addon to my previous article I went searching for my bike, which in a moment of clarity amongst a miasma of drunkeness, I decided to leave my bike in the city and proceed on foot. This idea was due to my excessive state of inebriation and the coodination required in successfully utilising pushbike.

I clearly remember riding my bike to UniPub, and here is a phot of myself and Jenn, both of us stoked at making it this far.So on Monday afternoon I returned to the pub in order to regain one of my most prized possesions. To my utter dismay, there were no bikes cahined up outside the pub. Indeed I even checked all the bike racks surrounding the pub but to no avail. Dejected, but still somewhat humoured by the idea that either: 1. someone had stolen my bike or 2. UniPub get all bikes removed after the weekend I started trudging home taking my usual route around London Cct and up West Row. I was most dismayed with the loss of my bike lock, which is worth substantially more than my bike.

For those of you not lucky enough to have enough spent time in our nations capital to understand the important landmarks of the city, my journey took my past a well known watering hole PJ O'Reilly's. I stopped, did a double take, scanned the area around me to see if anyoe was watching my strange behaviour (there was a man looking at me funny), and slowly approached the POS red mountain bike chained up outside the pub. Sure enough my key fit the chain lock. WooHoo!!!!

Tour De Pisse

A honoured annual event held by the Canberra Hashers involves a dignified meander through the braod avenues of of Australia's lovely capital city on the majestic and environmentally friendly mode of transport known as a bicycle. Occasionally we gentlemen would stop at noble establishments in order fend off the evil effects of dyhydration on the body. Unfortunately, among any gathering of substabtial numbers, there will always be a few uncouth persons who are unable to hold their club members, or themselves, with dignity. This is a pictorial story of when no individual understands the concept of dignity.

12 pubs and only one day. Bottoms up Pinko

Between Pub number 2 and Pub number 3. Most Hashers decided that 12 pubs wasn't enough so we found a place that had free beer tasting (Plonk) and stopped here too!

Most of the crew at Kingston Hotel. It was here that both the afternoon and the sky stated to turn hazy.

Finally I get relegated as beer holder at a Serviceman's Club
Still at the Serviceman's, the sky turns from hazy to wet. However we still have a substantial amount of puns to visit, so through the rain we go...
...to a nearby Rugby Club. Here I am with Megan and Regan. Megan is an ex Fenner resident I haven't seen in about five years.
The next stop was at the Ferry terminal. There is no bar here, but that doesn't stop Hashers. We'll just bring our own...in a fridge filled with ice...in a trailerMyself and Gerbils. A true real life hasher.
The last photo I took before my battery died. At the third last pub, uni pub. From here the night got awesome. There was a Hen's night at Moose and then there was O'Malleys. Only five of us made all twelve pubs (13 including Plonk). I was home in bed by one oclock. Which gave me just enough sleep before the 10:00am 15km IB training run. But that's another story...

Testing my suspension...

As some of you are no doubt aware recently many bikes, lots of people, craploads of cylinders, and yet only enough fuel displacement to power a V6 traveled from Canberra to Tarago in order to sample their cold tasty beer and their hot tasty sandwichs. Despite what seemed to be foolproof plans we somehow managed to misplace a rider at Bungendore (we also pissed off white-van driver). A wide range of bikes including L and P platers on 250s to the more experienced on their 1 Litres experienced the smooth roads and wide sweeping bends of Bungendore road. I used this time to test my new suspension settings. Despite Laurie (my suspension mechanic) complaining that being eligible for the super featherweight class is not condusive to stock springs, he did a superb job in ensuring my bike stuck to the road (and not, say, stuck to a tree).

So many bikes - it was great that two new comers could join us on this tour!

It was super to have so many riders in our little gang, a few more and I think we can start pushing around school kids for lunch money before moving onto larger racketeering schemes.

Its time I started eating more...

I received some advice from a fellow GSXR750 rider whilst at Canberra Motorcycle Centre (Mitchell) a few weeks ago.

This is his bike, which you will notice is the same as mine. Apparently there are not many of these in Canberra because he advises riders not to buy this colour scheme. The crafty dealer wants to keep the best for himself.

I was told basically that the manufacturers of the GSXR750 aren't to grounded in the real world and tend to set suspension springs in the bike way to tight. however for a measley $50 and 1/2 hour pf your time you can get all this soughted out by visiting a Suspension Specialist in Fyshwick.

Now what I was told is true, my bike handles 100% better when I'm caring 15 to 20 kg over the back wheel (this fact prompted me to ask CMC abou the issue). So I meandered on down to visit Laurie - the suspension mechanic - and get my bike fixed.

A spring!

He fiddled with the bike, checked compression with the bike off the ground, while I sat on the bike, and whilst it was at rest. Turned knobs and screws. He even pulled out a hammer at one stage (I always break into a cold sweat when mechanics use hammers). After he finished tinkering he looked me in the eye and said, "this is the best I can do, you're just to light for these springs." Its comments like this that send people like me straight to macca's...

This could be me, if I don't fix the suspension

I have two other options, ride around with lots of weight on the back, or spend lots of money on softer springs. So far I choose fast food. I will add the bike does perform a little better.

Dreams can come true

I've always wanted to do this. Now my life is complete

More on O-week soon...

How to perform human brain transplants

Because I know you are all interested. A 'leading' scientist in Transplantology - Dr Robert J White' published his method for transplanting heads in wikipedia, which I have dutifully cut and pasted for you all to see. Thankyou Dr White

1. The two 'patients' would be transferred to a specially designed operating room, equipped with apparatus for total body, human brain transplantation.
2. Two teams of specially trained surgeons, nurses, scientists and technicians are on hand. This is because the two patients will be operated on simultaneously.
3. Both patients will have to have a series of devices to monitor their brain and body activities during the operation. This will include brainwave, heart and blood monitoring. The most important measurement will be that of the brain.
4. The operation in both patients is directed at the neck. The incision encompasses the entire neck with surgical division of all the tissues of the neck, including skin and muscles. A stage is reached in the operation where only the arteries, veins and spine remain.
5. Bony vertebral elements of the spine at both the front and back are removed over several segments, exposing the spinal canal with its spinal cord and coverings. Metal plates are affixed to the remaining spine with screws above and below the area of absent bone. These will be used to fasten the spine together at the time of transplant.
6. The surgery on the blood vessels is the most dangerous part of the operation. This is because to be transplanted, the brain can only be without its blood supply for an extremely short time. Therefore 'Loop' catheters are filled with a substance to prevent blood clotting, and are introduced into each blood vessel in the patient, to enable vascular transfer to be carried out.
7. Since the blood vessel transfer is the most concerning part of the procedure a specially designed piece of equipment has been made available. This mechanically supports the brain circulation, or can cool the brain very rapidly to temperatures in the region of 12°C. This protects the brain for periods of over one hour if the blood circulation is completely cut off.
8. The loop catheters are now arranged so that the blood circulation is passed from the donor body to the recipients head. The donor body now supplies the circulation to the recipient head. The spinal cords are divided and the recipient brain and head are transplanted to its new body. Its body is now used as a transfusion source.
9. Both spines are fused together with the metal plates. The loop catheters carrying the blood supply are individually removed as the blood vessels are sewn together. If necessary the brain can be supported by the special instrument to provide it circulation or to cool it during these essential procedures.
10. Now all the tissues of the neck wound are sewn together including the skin, and the brain transplanted patient is moved into a specially equipped intensive care unit. Great concern will remain in the area of tissue rejection, infection and circulatory support. Appropriate medications will be required. Also this patient will require permanent respiratory support and artificial feeding.
11. When consciousness is regained we would expect that the patient's brain would function normally. They should be able to hear, see, taste, smell and think, and their memories should be totally intact. They can be instrumented for speech.

Many Monkeys died in the making of this procedure