Is there such a thing as too much fun...

After the long Saturday that was Open Day a few classy individuals retired to my humble abode for a tipple of wine...and scotch...and multiple varieties of vodka...and beer. Needless to say we stopped being classy fairly quickly.

Featured, one such classy individual

We played Dance Dance revolutionThen we dancedI think everybody made sweet love to Stubsy.And we made music
And finally to F5 I leave you with this.
we five men; drinking beer
no lives, no wives
all we do is drink drink drink

We would also apologise to all ground floor residents

Dela and Georgia offer peace to all those we annoyed on Saturday night

Hoodoo Gurus

Friday was a day of ups and downs - Pinko submitted his Thesis (Good onj ya mate), the Hoodoo Gurus played live at the unibar for really cheap, and the Bombers suffered an epic 13 goal defeat at the hands of Carlton (thats a downer)...

Dave Faulkner hums a simple tune for his beloved fans

The band was awesome - musical gurus you could say - followed closely in awesomeness of Chicken Gourmet at 2am in the morning...

Highlights included not being able to hear properly for the next 24 hours, being hit on by a 40 year old woman after she demanded to know why I was at the concert (obviously I was too young for this scene), and the two extremely drunk wankers who pushed in front of us and proceeded to spill drinks on everyone and hug Micheal. This was actually kind of a lowlight but it was amusing to watch the plethora of fans tell them to leave the area using the diverse forms of the f-bomb.

Inception

I thought I met my dream girl at the Belconnen cinema on Sunday whilst on my way to see Inception with Pinko, Jen, and Roberts. However, on closer inspection her personality seemed a little flat.

She was a good listener, but didn't really say all that much.

The Stats are in!

You may remember a few months ago I was very excited at my 8-Ball team's Division 5 premiership. Well, recently the seasons stats have come in.

The stats are ordered in two ways overall games won, and % of games won.

Div 5 Ranking per games won

Players		Frames		Rankings		Ranking
Name	Won	Played	%age	Points
Mike Cairns	28	39	71.795%	53.846		1
Phil Gatt	26	35	74.286%	55.714		2
Robert Sansum	25	35	71.429%	53.571		3
Stuart Valentine	25	35	71.429%	53.571		4
Mark Lott	25	37	67.568%	50.676		5
Dominic Stinziani	25	40	62.500%	42.188		6

Div 5 Ranking per % of games won

Ranking	Players			Frames
	Name		Won	Played	%age
1	James Parker		4	4	100.000%
2	Phil Gatt		26	35	74.286%
3	Rob Page		24	33	72.727%
4	Mike Cairns		28	39	71.795%
5	Stuart Valentine		25	35	71.429%
6	Robert Sansum		25	35	71.429%

It turns out I came in a very healthy 2nd in both categories for Div 5 and the only reason I wasn't 1st in % of games won is because some choker played only 4 games He won them all and so he has a 100% win rate (he also won those game playing for our team). the table above shows the top six ranked players, marked in red are fellow Gringos - my team mates. Not surprisongly the majority of the others in the top 6 came from the team we defeated in the GF.

Pub Golf

A couple of weeks ago I got my first taste of Pub Golf. An interesting game; you get a list of pubs each with a correspoonding drink (these represent the holes), and a 'par score'. This is how many sips (gulps is a more accurate term) one has to finish said drink.

Micheal and myself, I'm an unhappy golfer at the best of times.

So five sips for a pint if Guiness is a quick method of losing your way (and as it turns out a great way to start the night/lose large chunks of memory). Most 'competitors' dressed up in their favourite golfing attire and hit the town. The following photos remind me of where we went...

Louisa, Georgia and I at King O'Malleys. That was my first, but not my last, pint of guiness for the night

Here I'm with Kate at the Wigg and Penn

Georgia was quick on the draw, but I photo'd her back good and proper

Dan and Laura, I was supposed to be in the photo but the wicked witch decided she was more 'photogenic'

There's not much more to the night. We visited lots of places a lot of which I have hazy memories of. A t one stage I sang some Karaoke...

Mr Fenner

An exciting annual event at Fenner Hall is Mr Fenner. In the fortnight leading up to the occasion all residents are able to make a 50c donation and nominate a male resident (all proceeds go to Beyond Blue).

Alex Patterson, my escort for the event, helps me prepare my fire juggling balls.

The 10 residents with the highest amount of nominations are invited to partake in a men's beauty pageant. This year I received a single nomonation, and due to the amount of ressies not keen to strut their stuff on stage I made the final cut.

Togs and Toga - you could iron a shirt in that stomach! This is extremely useful as I don't own an ironing board.

There are four categories and a talent. Afterwards the judges choose the five contestents for the final round, in which each finalist is asked two questions.

When I grow up.

This year the four categories were evening wear, when I grow up, togs or toga, and fantasy. Throughout the night the contestants wore everything from suits to leather outfits to trousers with with the butts cut out.

Fantasy category - I decided I want to be a woman. In reality everyone must have known I would put on a dress at some stage.

Talents were just as varied, some serenaded the crowds with ballads (or raps), cooking, and strip shows. I decided to call upon my skills as juggler and combine the with my fetish for fire for some 'extreme juggling'.

The not so extreme part of my extreme juggling!

It was an incredible night, I am happy to say I made the final five (I was one of only two to be unanimously voted in by the six judges).

Don't try this at home, I'm a well practiced amateur! My finale was a fireball in my bare hands. It amazed everyone and caused only minor burns to my sensitve skin

Kudos goes to this year's winner Ross McQuinn and thanks to those who helped out, be it my lovely escort Alex Patterson, my (drunken) advisor Michael Liu, and Dave and Jen who let me practice juggling fire in their backyard.

My eveningwear outfit, just before I was told I made the final five - Shaminda, next to me in the photo, was voted Mr Congeniality and was the only other contestant to have all judges pick him as a finalist.

Fenner Fight Club

Sometimes alcohol may get the better of your judgement, and you do some things that you will regret in the morning...and sometimes those ideas are totally awesome.

Here are some photos of Micheal, Alex and myself duking it out - welcome to the FFC

It started out as wrestling...

Alex and Michael playing at 'Judo'

but when we realised Alex was much stronger than both of us shit got real.

All too easily Alex drops me on my head

Joint locks took the place of grappling...

Micheal tries to dislocate Alex's shoulder

...and grabs turned to punches.

Here I am given the asian a lesson in Aussie Kung Fu!

There was a no holding back policy with punches to the gut

I threw up after this one

punches to the head

as well as kicks and knees to the face
The blows soon started to turn real nasty as the neck became involved...
...and choke slams became the norm

After being hoisted up, I was belted in the face a few times before Alex threw me to the ground like the rag doll I am

Of course, the true martial arts experience shone through.

The final lesson, a fly kick to the head.

Until next time, Fenner Fight Club says good night!

We are sooo much hotter than Charlie's Angels!

Please note; only one Phillip Gatt was injured during the making of this mocumentary