Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Oadby Sausage and Cider Festival 2017: the one where Phillip falls off his bench

It was that time year again. The last weekend of June. Indeed, my favourite weekend in June. Even more so then my birthday weekend. The Oadby Sausage and Cider Festival, which, in our extensive experience of two different Sausage and cider festivals, is unequivocally our favourite. And while I did not write a post of the 2016 festival, I can assure you that we were (as usual) one of the first patrons there!
Baiky is once again sitting above an empty pint.
This year the weather was not the best, so Gemma and I searched for a table under cover and scored the table closest to the bar. We then plonked Baiky on the table and proceeded to work our way through cider list with reckless abandon somewhat akin to a kid in a candy store. Once again, with trusty pen in hand we rated the tasty (and not so tasty) beverages we quoffed. Below are some of the more noteworthy descriptions.

Thistly Cross (6.9%)
Their description:Matured in Glenglassaugh whisky casks to deliver a subtle spirit finish.
Gemma says: I don't like whisky
Phillip says: Don't worry, it doesn't taste like whisky.
Gemma says: It tastes of marshmallows.

Mr Whitehead's (7%)
Their description:Strong and dry - making a very unusual perry.
Gemma says: Ice lollies.
Phillip says: Ice Lollies?
Gemma says: Ice lollies!
Phillip concludes: Its a taste that lasts for a mile. The taste changes as it passes from the mouth, to the throat and then there's an aftertaste.

Baiky helps me make friends. However, when Gemma, Baiky and I are together, an amazing occurence...uh...occurs. People, for some reason completley unbeknownst to me, think we have a child. On this occassion we were offered free vouchers for swimming lessons for kids. 
 
Admittedly, it took us a while to convince them that Baiky was born to swim. 
Norman Cider (Medium sweat 7.5%)
A red cloudy cider with a delicious taste. Like a kiss from  a beautiful apple.
Phillip says: Urgggh! Janet Jungle Juice.
( Janet Jungle Juice has been a staple since we first attended this event - the description in 2015 was: smells like, B.O., tastes like B.O., must be B.O. Unfotuantely, since that time all that has changed is its name... -Ed.)
Gemma says: Ruuuuuuuude!


Black Rat Perry (Medium sweet perry 7.5%)
Their description: A fruity pear cider - dangerously drinkable. Go steady - this is a rocket fuel (seen the description rocket fuel a few too many times in the drinking guide, shows a certian lack of imgination. -Ed.)
Phillip says: $2 hooker; goes easy!


Vale of Welton: (Medium Sweet 4.8%)
Their description:Champion cider of the 2015 Northampton County Beer Festival - alcoholic apple juice.
Gemma says: Reminds me of Mary Poppins - its watered down medicine with a spoonful of sugar.

Aberhalls (Medium 6%)
Their description: A heady aroma of fresh crushed apples, light golden in colour, crisp and refreshing with a lingering fruitiness.
Phillip says: radioactive orange squash
Gemma says: fuck, my parents are [waiting for me to give them a lift] at the airport.


Gemma sees multiple missed calls on her phone confirming that she had in fact forgotten that she was supposed to give them a lift from the airport to their car that was parked at her house with keys inside the house.

Moonshine (Medium Sweet 7.5%)
Their description: Rocket fuel in aglass - go steady as this is dangerously drinkable.
Phillip says: Fuckin' disappointed, sharp taste but will drink it because I bought it. (this sentiment was shared by the teenagers sitting next to us at the time as well).

Apparently it is customary at any drinking event for Gemma to wear the contents of someone else's beverage. In this instance there is a slight potential that my pint was launched in an act of self-preservation. Apparently, I managed to single handedly topple my full-bench seat whilst leaning on it at a precarious angle (citation needed). It was gratifying, if somewhat patronising, that so many people who were barely able to stand themselves came to my rescue. None of these chivalrous gentlemen helped dry my pint off Gemma.

 Phillip missed this photo as he has fallen over again.