Part 1: Hanoi the first

Hanoi was my first taste of Vietnam, and to be honest it tasted luke warm and quite damp – but that is probably the way Vietnam is at nine o’clock at night. My first goal was to get to my hotel, which I managed to do quite easily by a very friendly minibus ride. I found out later they were super friendly because I paid seven times the proper amount – which was still unbelievably cheap for a 30 km ride (I paid more for the chauffeured drive when I returned to the airport 14 days later).
I had one day to spend in Hanoi and so the next morning I rose early and leapt onto the back of a motorbike taxi. I soon found myself immersed in traffic, there were vehicles everywhere, all of which my driver ignored as he forged his own path through oncoming traffic on multiple occasions.

Look at all that traffic. At 7:00am. it can only get worse

I amused myself by closing my eyes and seeing how many times I could recite the Hail Mary.
Only slightly ruffled I arrived in the Old Quarter – a shopping district. I walked around for a bit, bought clothes (I only brought the clothes I was wearing and my suit for the wedding), a cheap arse watch, and some souvenirs for the family. It was a great day really, when I got thirsty I bought cheap beer, when I got hungry I bought cheap food.

My first meal. Its crab. Ot cost less than five dollars and it was awesome. I have since eaten eel, goat, duck, frog and a variety of other animals. While I couldn't find dog or rat I was able to find Shitted shredded meat (see below menu - last entry)

I only got ripped off a couple of times, and still was better of than if I was in Australia. One time I even left an outdoor café when I saw the beer price was equivalent to $3.00 AUS.

After dinner I did some touristy stuff

Me being touristy. I felt I should take a photo of the statue, although I don't know what he did.

and then sat and watched the locals play some sport after work. There was Badminton, a shuttlecock game using you feet and even breakdancers.

Shuttlecock, on the street

Look! Breakdancers. How funny.

Those bastards. I eventually retired at a place called LePub, mostly attended by foreigners. I met many an Aussie whilst I drank beer (they sold Coopers!!!!!)

If you look real close the top two entries in the right column on this menu are Coopers Sparkling and Coopers Pale Ales.

and true to my traveling form ended up spending most of the night with the owner, an agreeable Englishman. I also met the owner of a local Indian restaurant (but I had no reason to visit an Indian restaurant in Vietnam), and an Aussie with a huge set of hooters.

Speaking of Aussies in Vietnam - look what I found.

She delighted in recounting tales of how her oversized anatomy caused near traffic accidents whilst traveling around southeast asia. This eventful day ended by a return motorbike taxi ride home, unfortunately my backpack was open and I lost all the clothes I bought.

A good looking Aussie far from home.